Depressed?

I haven't heard from G. since Thursday morning - four and a half days ago. It is so intense talking with her sometimes -- and she's even said she'd be lost without me. Now I wonder if I am just a fool.

My karma -- people leave me. Suddenly. Without a hint, much less without a warning. I think as a young person she does not take such things as seriously: she could be dealing with a busted computer, for some time, and think nothing of it, the time she has and the time and opportunties to be with people and to meet new people expanding out from the doorway of this moment, her life feeling endless, or so it seems to the young. Now for myself, knowing my mortality, I know there are only a finite number of days, a set number of moments, and then.... oblivion.

This all seems so useless sometimes, just a madman whose best he can muster is to bark out into the sweeping wind, uselessly jabbering "the sound and the fury".