It's 50 here today. And sunny. Forcast for 60. Home for another long lunch, threw a couple windows open to freshen the place, even though it's already cool in here.
But a winter storm watch for tomorrow and Wednesday. Oh well.
I have an appointment with Dr. Napoli this evening, a psychiatrist at JFS. I've already canceled my last two appointments with him over the last month. Money is one thing. But mainly I just don't want to be back on meds. The stigma, yes, at least the stigma that I feel. But I also worry that it is in some way giving up control. Not that I would go crazy violent like a (very few) handful of gunman have done in the news. But just-- for the same reason I never did drugs, or drink myself blotto.
Which is a manifestation of my problem, lol. And my running to the back of my flat four times this morning as I was leaving - once after I had locked the inner door - to make sure that I had pull the space heater's cord from the socket. And my paranoia that my car will stall without warning, "now!"
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