Feeling better

Really feel that sometime this week, maybe a couple days ago, my mind did that 'flip' from depression to -- if not manic, at least then, well... -- not depressed.

It is like those couple times when I have started on psychotropic prescriptions: the enervating Thoughts were still there, but the attendant Emotions just weren't. There had been a tipping point.

Not sure what or when the tipping point was. We are looking at some above-freezing temps here for the first time in over a week -- seems like a warm up, but really just the average temps for this point in the year, lol. I got through this past week at work our monthly three day training - which always gets me nervous. But this week for the first time I did not cater lunches, per Erie County and budget changes, so that was a huger load off than I anticipated it would be. We also had the first ever Professional Development Training last Saturday and on top of all the usual I ended up having to sit at the front desk at 844 Delaware all day, just reading and webbing. And my car is proving itself dependable through the constant cold; and the problem with the driver side door lock, at least, was fixed with half a can of WD40. But I am still not locking it, not trusting it.

I also am writing more and more, discovering Mamet, both plays and essays of his, and ordering loads of books from the library.

My eating and coffee drinking habits are still as bad as they have been this winter though. But I am having fun enjoying time chatting and playing with G. -- still unsure if she is the young woman in the pics she sent me, she has still not been willing to exchange phone numbers nor has she gotten a mic. So she is still a quantum entity, could go either way, truly the - wonderfully intelligent - 20 year old women she says she is, or not.

So anyway, the Switch got flipped inside my head. I am okay with being less than perfect, I am okay with be human and faulted an very occasionally unwise. It is a relief that I know I should just enjoy while it is here.